It is really happening...

In less than two weeks me and Anthony will be taking a train to Chicago to look at apartments. It is strange to think that this is really happening. I have been dreaming of moving there since the summer and now it is actually time to leave. I am trying to see as many people as I can before I move and I am so glad I am spending the holiday with my family. Thinking about it, I realize that I don't know the next holiday I'll get to spend with them. I am so lucky to have Anthony though. He is my best friend and I know it will be amazing having him as my support system out there. I am currently still awaiting notice from the three internships I applied for but I really hope I hear from them soon...and that at least one of them wants me! Until then I just have to sit back and enjoy the holidays. Happy Holidays everyone!

New things are scary. But also very, very exciting. And that is how I want to look at this new experience ahead of me. I want to be excited about the opportunities waiting for me in this new city, not worried about how to pay for it. But alas, that is all I can think about lately. As a Theatre grad I am struggling to make ends meat, especially with my student loans hitting me month after month. I have applied for two internships so far but I can't help but worry and think, "Why would they want me? Have I done anything outstanding? Is there anything on my resume that will grab them and make them want me as a part of their company?" I hope so. I have worked so hard and this is definitely something I want to do. But lately fear is taking hold of me and I can't help but think this dream of mine will never take off. And I hate this feeling. I've always been a can do person and all of a sudden fear is gripping me and won't let go. Everyone tells me that this is the time of my life to do something like this, move and experience a completely different world. And then lately I am finding that not everyone wants me to do it. I grew up in a family being told they want better for me and to follow my dreams but now I'm starting to wonder if those were genuine sentiments because finances has also been a main focus and I know I will that living comfortably will be difficult for me at times.

I just want to move on and up in my life. I want to be able to create the life I've dreamed about, especially one where money isn't my main concern, because it has been my main concern since I was really young.

I know that once I get out there I will get caught up in everything I love, and even though I will miss everyone here (more than they can imagine) I think I need this. I need this to help myself grow as a person. I really want to let go of all of the fear of not "making it", or not making a livelihood, because I know I have what it takes to make a career out of my love for theatre. I just have to start trusting myself more and start trusting that the universe will never give me more than I can handle.

I am craving some Italian Lemonade right now :)

C-c-c-cold...

The chill in the air today reminded me that I will have to invest in some warmer attire soon. As a life long resident of upstate New York, I am no stranger to bad winters, but I have a feeling I've seen nothing yet. I am currently looking at Timberland and Columbia's websites to find durable, warm jackets and good boots. Any suggestions? Especially from anyone who has lived in or visited Chicago in the winter.

Summer Love

Chicago. Before June of this summer all I knew about Chicago was that they make amazing deep dish pizza. And while I was able to explore this well know fact when I visited, I learned that Chicago offers so much more. Amazing theatres, numerous museums, relaxing jazz clubs and friendly people. When I first met my boyfriend Anthony he mentioned that he wanted to visit the Art Institute of Chicago one day to see the paintings of one of his favorite artists, Kandinsky. Little did I know, we would be fulfilling that wish three years later.

While in Chicago I really got a sense of the city and the people in it. Everyday was chock full of exploration and each day I dreaded the day I would have to return home. Don't get me wrong, I love what Troy has to offer, and I know I will miss my friends and family immensely, but something about Chicago felt like home to me. I love the city atmosphere and yet it has the laid back feeling of a hometown.

I spent my whole life living in a small town. I spent the last five years living in Troy, where I went to college. I got my degree in Theatre and I can't imagine doing anything else. I love the creativity involved in theatre and after working on Mirror, Mirror, a show that used devised theatre to explore issues of body image, I realized that I want to use theatre to help young women build their confidence. Theatre gave me confidence and I really want to pass that on when I start a theatre company. I am so excited to start my career in professional theatre and I really feel like Chicago is a great place to start. I've been applying to internships and I've looked into some theatre companies in the area I'm looking to move to.

Everything about my visit made me fall in love with this city. Just thinking about it now I am so excited for all of the opportunities I will have out there.

This blog will document my journey to my future stomping grounds, and the adventures I will embark on once I am out there. I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I will.