New things are scary. But also very, very exciting. And that is how I want to look at this new experience ahead of me. I want to be excited about the opportunities waiting for me in this new city, not worried about how to pay for it. But alas, that is all I can think about lately. As a Theatre grad I am struggling to make ends meat, especially with my student loans hitting me month after month. I have applied for two internships so far but I can't help but worry and think, "Why would they want me? Have I done anything outstanding? Is there anything on my resume that will grab them and make them want me as a part of their company?" I hope so. I have worked so hard and this is definitely something I want to do. But lately fear is taking hold of me and I can't help but think this dream of mine will never take off. And I hate this feeling. I've always been a can do person and all of a sudden fear is gripping me and won't let go. Everyone tells me that this is the time of my life to do something like this, move and experience a completely different world. And then lately I am finding that not everyone wants me to do it. I grew up in a family being told they want better for me and to follow my dreams but now I'm starting to wonder if those were genuine sentiments because finances has also been a main focus and I know I will that living comfortably will be difficult for me at times.

I just want to move on and up in my life. I want to be able to create the life I've dreamed about, especially one where money isn't my main concern, because it has been my main concern since I was really young.

I know that once I get out there I will get caught up in everything I love, and even though I will miss everyone here (more than they can imagine) I think I need this. I need this to help myself grow as a person. I really want to let go of all of the fear of not "making it", or not making a livelihood, because I know I have what it takes to make a career out of my love for theatre. I just have to start trusting myself more and start trusting that the universe will never give me more than I can handle.